Friday, July 29, 2011

It's Just the Weather

I should have known that it was going to be a day of misadventure, because I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But I blamed the weather - the grey, not raining, sunless, weather.

So I tackled the laundry, and the dishwasher, and had a shower and an iced coffee, and finally felt ready to leave the house to accomplish at least one of my goals for the day - buying a shower present.

I was ready to walk out the door with my infant when I remembered I had to find out IF and WHERE the gift recipient had a registry. I had to remove my shoes, set down my purse, and appease the infant while my laptop booted up and I searched to see if a registry existed. It did - at Crate & Barrel, one of my faves. Things were looking good! Registries are a blessing - they take all the work out of choosing a gift. They are one of the Best Inventions of Modern Times. So I put the shoes back on, picked up the purse and the infant, and we were on our way...

We arrived at the store uneventfully. Then the misadventure began. I woke up the infant and we headed to the store - and were informed that the store had no electricity and was presently not open. If I were a childless person, I would have skipped over to the mall next door and traipsed around for a bit before returning. Being a person-with-child, I could choose to:

A) Leave in the car and come back later (or not at all - except that the shower was in less than 24 hours)
B) Go to the mall with the child (except I had not brought a stroller and he is getting very heavy) and then come back
C) Go to the Macy's in the mall, where the gift recipient had also registered.

I chose C, even though I hate Macy's, because it was the most efficient option.

So we drove around the parking lot to park closer to the entrance of Macy's, instead of Crate & Barrel (the heavy child prohibiting walking that far), and went in. We actually found a spot close to the entrance, and I felt it might be a sign we were just meant to go to Macy's, despite my hatred for the store. But the signs quickly reversed themselves.

The thing with small children is that they cannot go up escalators. The thing with malls is that they have a lot of escalators. This being my second child, I have learned that they have elevators in hiding in every department store. So we walked the perimeter, hunting for the elevator. It was, of course, on the opposite corner of the store from the doors. And, of course, the registry department was on the third floor.

We meandered around the third floor, searching for a sign that said "Registry". I found one, and it appeared to be pointing at the down escalator. (It is things like this that make me hate Macy's.) Since the map of the store had clearly stated Registry was on the third floor, I deduced that it meant I should go around the escalators. I was correct, and we were able to print off the registry list. It was nicely organized by category, which would have been useful if Macy's was organized by category (another reason I hate Macy's). Unfortunately, they like to scatter housewares, bedding, and fine china throughout the floor in small groupings, the reasons for which I cannot determine. We started to hunt for a peeler. I figured that would be with utensils. We walked through a section of pots and knives, but it was not there. I found another section of dishes, but no utensils. Then I spotted a third section, which was helpfully labeled "The Cellar." This section appeared to have everything from small appliances to plates to... utensils! We found the peeler.

My next object to locate was identified on the registry list as "Joseph Joseph Hmlr" or something to that effect. It was also under the housewares, so I figured it OUGHT to be nearby. At this point, an employee asked if he could help me, so I said - "What is a Joseph Joseph Hmlr?"

He had no idea, either. But he looked it up in his computer and it was a utensil set. So clearly something that would be in the utensil section, too! Wonderful! He procured it and I made to purchase the items when...

I realized I had no wallet. I carry about $5 in cash and no checkbook, so I was now in the predicament of being unable to complete the purchase. I asked them to put the items aside and left. Back down the elevator. Back through the entire store (maybe they put the elevator at the back on purpose?). Back to the car, and back to my house.

I then drove BACK to the mall; however, by this time (3:30?? on a Friday??) there were inexplicable quantities of vehicles on the road constituting traffic. This meant it took 3 times as long to get to the mall. However, the gift has now been procured, and the misadventure over, so at the end of the day... I can say... it was just the weather.

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