Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt is at once a terrible and fantastic thing. And it's increasingly been my leading motivator.

Mommy Guilt first started to really kick my butt into gear last fall, when it compelled me to create the Most Fantastic Birthday for my daughter. She was turning 3 - and reaching an age where I actually have childhood memories from. This is a terrifying thought - I cannot let her have sub-par memories. She must remember childhood as a wonderful, fabulous time, full of love and awesome parenting. I let her pick a party theme, decorations, cake. I invited people over so she could feel surrounded by love. Afterwards, I debated with the Mommy Guilt over whether I should have done more. It was appeased by the fact that she had a good time.

This year, Mommy Guilt has started approaching whole new levels. Having gained success at compelling me to feel inadequate in my birthday-planning skills, it now guides me in simple daily activities. This post is prompted by the fact that I just went to the bathroom and used the ALMOST last piece of toilet paper. There's toilet paper under the sink, there's still about two pieces on the roll... but a GOOD mommy would make sure that there was a fresh roll standing in waiting, right there on the toilet. Do I want to be a good mommy or a lazy, good-for-nothing mommy who can't be bothered to get the fresh roll of toilet paper out from under the sink?

Now Mommy Guilt is questioning whether I should really have swapped out the roll so that the next person doesn't have to. Who am I kidding? The next person will probably be me. But regardless, Mommy Guilt is making the household run a bit more smoothly. And at the same time tormenting me with self-doubt!

Just Mishaps

It's been a few weeks with only minor mishaps. Let's hope that by saying that, I'm not jinxing myself. But here is the rundown:

Varmint

When we moved in, the sellers were kind enough to leave us their trash can. However, it was in sorry shape, and within two weeks it was clear we needed a new trash can to survive the abuse that trash day entails. (I think that garbage collectors own stock in trash cans.) So we purchased a new one, but the garbage collectors did not take the old trash can, so it's remained sitting around with a slit all the way up one side.

Last week we missed trash day. So when I found that our (new) can was full, I thought it would be a good idea to put the additional bags into the semi-functional (ok, barely-functional) old trash can. Things were fine for about 24 hours, and then a varmint attacked. He clearly realized that the poor old trash can was no match for him, and strew our gross, stinky garbage around the can while consuming his meal.

I made the husband address this mishap, despite his protests.

Markers

My son, who is 15 months and has decided he is a person now, discovered markers this week. He has begun to insist on eating while seated at the table and holding a fork. Last night he walked to the bathroom after dinner to wash his hands at the sink. He procures foodstuffs from the cabinets and helps himself to them. And then he decided to climb up to the breakfast bar where my daughter does her drawing, and start using her markers. On the bar.

Today, he found a pencil (the markers having been - cleverly - removed). This also was used to decorate the bar.

Then I had an epiphany! Color Wonder! Color Wonder markers (which are probably not legit markers, more like creepy watery chemicals in a tube) only write on Color Wonder paper.



So I addressed this mishap, and now my son has markers, which makes him happy, and they only color on Color Wonder paper, which makes me happy.

Flu

In the 10 days, my son got sick, the husband and I got a cold, then the husband got a flu, which then gave way to a cold. So today is really the first day I've had a functioning adult around the house in a week or so. I am aware that many people never get another functioning adult around the house, but since I'm usually graced with the presence of one, the lack was very noticeable. Also, the presence of the non-functioning adult was like having a third, whiny child around.

It was great to have the functioning adult back today, to take care of the mess the varmint left.

Wild Cherry or Devil Red?

Today, I got another call from daycare immediately after arriving at work. They wanted me to pick up my daughter because they decided to get their medical degree and determine that her circular rash was caused by her head lice having fallen into her clothes and mutated into body lice. They googled some photos for proof.

There are several issues with this.
1) head lice don't fall
2) head lice and body lice are completely different insects
3) head lice live on the head and body lice live on the body (and clothing)
3) THEY ARE NOT DOCTORS

Regardless, they bagged up my daughter's things and banned her from circle time and told the other kids not to play with her. (!!! - this is absolutely unacceptable, but it's not the point of THIS post) So I picked her up and brought her to the doctor at 11:50 instead of 5:30. From across the room, the doctor looks at my daughter's rash and says, "ah, Lyme disease."

A bit anxious due to the paranoia and google "proof", I actually sort of questioned her a bit. Could this possibly be body lice? She gave me a strange look (what are you smoking?), and explained how textbook the rash was for Lyme disease. So off we go for blood work, and medicine, and now the poor girl gets to take medicine three times a day for three weeks.

Back home, we have some lunch. I then go downstairs to clear out the delay on the washing cycle and have it start immediately instead. It's a fabulous feature of my magnificent, wild cherry colored front-loading steam washer - a delay option so the clothes can be ready when you arrive home from work. And that's when it hits me. I've done this before. Just last Tuesday, when daycare called me to pick up my daughter because of the lice. I'd set the washer to delay... and wound up coming home early and cancelling it.

You can only draw one conclusion from this "coincidence" - my washer is an agent of the Devil.

Bugs from Hell: Day 4

I had my 4th unpaid "vacation" day today, thanks to the lice. Because I clearly cannot find all the nits in my daughter's hair, I subjected her to the blowdryer and the olive oil treatment (not at the same time, which, as my husband pointed out, could be a disaster).

She was a good sport. I tried to make it more fun by letting her pick out her plastic bag hat. It had fish on it. (This is why I save plastic bags - see? They really DO come in handy. I'm kind of bummed I threw as many away as I did when we moved.)

Daughter and I are both getting bad dandruff, as a result of the frequent hair washings, combings, and hair drying, I presume. This makes it even harder to identify nits vs. not-nits.

I combed her hair out tonight and didn't conclusively see a single nit (there were a few questionables). The husband thought I had fewer nits today, too. Progress is good, but since a single mature louse lays 3-5 eggs per day, progress is not success.

I've decided to research the biology of the bugs to determine the best way to deal with them. The nits apparently only hatch in a cozy room-temperature-to-hot range (but too hot kills them - the only thing that does kill them). The lice can live for up to 2 days without eating, but they're actually susceptible to treatments. So killing them before they lay nits and minimizing the number of nits hatching on your head seem to be the keys to success.

In good licekilling news, it's supposed to be colder this weekend - below their comfort threshold. If we can manage not turn on the heat, all the nits in the house that we may have missed won't hatch.

Bugs from Hell

We've just learned that our heads and home are infested with bugs sent straight from hell - lice.

As a lice virgin, the first thing I did when I picked up my daughter was to go to the drug store and buy a lice removal kit. I got the three-in-one kit. It came with a shampoo, a comb, a combing gel, and a spray. I also called the doctor's office.

So we (daughter and I) immediately went home and used the shampoo. This wasn't great fun for my daughter, who hates having her hair washed. But she was a good sport. You put the shampoo on, leave it for 10 minutes (rather frighteningly, the directions emphasize NO MORE than 10 minutes), and then wash it out. Allegedly, this kills the live bugs.

But lice don't just sit on your head and eat your blood. No, they have to lay sticky eggs on your hair. Sticky eggs whose name is very apt: nits. And the nits are immune to the shampoo. So you put in the combing gel and comb out the nits. You comb. And comb. And comb.

This is the really suck part. You can comb all day. But the next time you look through the hair, you are sure to find a nit. Or two. Or ten. Or fifty. And daycare won't let daughter back until she is nit-free.

So then you comb again. And again. And again. And pick at your child's hair like some weird mamma monkey grooming her young. You have to get all the nits. Because they will hatch. You don't know when, because you don't know when they were laid. But they will hatch before 7 days are up. And then they will be lice. And then they will lay more nits, that you will have to comb. And comb. And comb. So you have to get ALL THE NITS. Except you can't, and everyone knows this.

So some folks recommend shampooing again 7-10 days after your first shampoo. Other folks think the shampoos are dangerous (they are pretty scary chemicals), and you're better off with home remedies. And you're pretty much forbidden from shampooing more frequently than every 7 days.

So what are you going to do while the nits you miss hatch and crawl around happily in your head sucking your blood?

Today I came up with my first Lice Eradication Plan. Apparently it frequently takes 2 or more plans before you have Successful Lice Eradication. So we'll call this LEP #1.

LEP #1 -
Day 1: Daughter and I used shampoo. We combed nits. We washed bedding. We washed many other things. We put things that couldn't be washed in plastic bags. I used the terrible spray that most people advise against as it can make you really sick (so far, we are ok).
Day 2: Daughter and I combed out nits. We washed some stuff that didn't get washed on Day 1 (the sanitary cycle takes 2 hours!). We started vacuuming.
Day 3: We combed out nits. I put 75% of the bedding we'd used the last 2 nights into the wash, again. I am hesitant to wash pillows every night - I'm not sure they can handle it?? I did the "olive oil treatment" (daughter refused, and since I haven't seen any live bugs on her yet, I didn't push). I blow dried my hair, twice. After the olive oil treatment, I combed out my hair with our NEW, metal brush. I didn't actually see any nits on the comb, but it did appear I combed out a handful of dead bugs.

Day 4: We will just comb. I might make daughter do the olive oil treatment, depending on how things look. I might also blow-dry her hair.
Day 5: I will repeat olive oil treatment and wash bedding again. Vacuuming will also be done. And of course, combing.
Day 6: More combing. Maybe also washing bedding.
Day 7: Repeat shampoo. If things are not improving, may also try the vinegar treatment. This is supposed to kill nits. Wash bedding.

Then we'll reevaluate if LEP#1 seems to be working.

And this is why...

...we own so many towels.

Last week we had a ridiculous rainstorm, which resulted in local flooding. I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by rain pounding against our bedroom windows (which are actually serving as our headboard, until my son finishes using his convertible crib/toddler bed). There was some thunder, but really most of the noise was the rain driving against our house from all directions. I comforted my daughter, who was also awoken by the rain, and checked the kids' room window, which leaks (another story for another day), to make sure there were no puddles forming, and all was well. I went back to bed.

A few hours later, I went down to the basement to feed the critters and see if there was any water, since it's been known to find its way in before, in small quantities. There were, disturbingly, what I will call "large puddles." Large puddles, and small streams, since the water comes in at the back of the house and then flows to low points in the very-uneven floor.

The last time we had water in the basement, I whipped out two bath towels and soaked it up, 1-2-3. This time, there was significantly more water. I sent my daughter (who is always eager to help) to get some towels. She came back with two. I started on one puddle and wondered if towels were really going to do the trick. I sent her back for more, anyhow. Meanwhile, my husband stared at the walls and muttered inanities like "I think it's coming in from here" or "I don't know where it's coming from" or "It rained a lot last night", with a smattering of helpful suggestions like, "use the shop vac to pick it up." He then went to go take his shower and left for work.

While the shop vac helped with the largest puddle, we apparently only have one power outlet in the basement, and the limited mobility made it of limited use. So the daughter and I emptied the entire linen closet. The wet towels went to the washer, where I just did a rinse and spin (why doesn't it just have a spin feature??) before sending them to the dryer for immediate reuse.

I didn't bother counting, but we have in the neighborhood of 18 bath towels and 2 beach towels, for a 4-person household that almost never has overnight guests. And my husband has frequently questioned the quantity of towels, to which I answer along the lines of "you can't have too many towels."

And I am right, of course. And now it's proven.

Mystery poop (I hope)

The week got off to a fabulous start today when my son (14 mos) decided to have a triple-bout of diarrhea after arriving at daycare. Of course he was fine before being dropped off. And when I showed up (and could hear him crying from outside of the infant room), he immediately stopped crying as soon as he saw me and employed the use of one of his two words (ma!ma!ma!). As flattering as this is, it merely offset the irritation I had at having just spent as much time in the car this morning as I did at work.

Once home, the boy decided that he was perfectly fine and would spend the rest of the day babbling and strutting through the house, not the least bit interested in napping or (thankfully) having any more exciting bowel movements.

As the day draws to a close, I can only hope that the morning's intestinal excitement was a one-off and will not be repeated. Why the pooplosion? That is a mystery, for now.