Friday, May 18, 2018

Well, hello there.

I've been thinking of ways to break the news for a month now. I even wrote a lengthy blog post about embracing change and dealing with the unexpected. But it's not right for the situation.

I'm pregnant.

I'm unmistakably, undeniably, visibly pregnant.

It's jarring.

I keep looking for the right way to frame this but ultimately - it's just a fact.

I'm 36, I have three kids, and a fourth one is growing inside me.

Sometime before December, it's going to emerge into the world, one way or another, and I am going to have 4 children.

Three planned; one that just decided to pop in from nowhere. BAM!

I've envisioned a lot of different futures for myself. None of them ever included an unplanned pregnancy. Sure, when I was a kid, I wanted to marry a Russian gymnast and pop out ten kids, but those ten kids were all going to be planned. Then I had one kid and realized how much work and sacrifice they are and realized two or three would suffice.

But - not to worry. Because whatever maternal instincts or hormones I have, they've already kicked in. I already love this peach-sized, alien-looking being whose heartbeat I heard the other day. I'm worrying constantly about its health, just like I did with my first three kids. And I'm looking forward to meeting it, hopefully in November.

Four kids. Good thing I got that minivan.

Life is just full of surprises, isn't it?

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