Return of the Ants

The ants are back. They have taken over my kitchen. I am officially surrendering it to them. I cannot get the dishwasher unloaded and reloaded without one surprising me, so I quit. Now, they will be able to find food, and they will invite friends, and they will make a tent and decide to stay. I don't see them anywhere outside - just in my kitchen. I think they already decided to live there.

Ant remediation and property lines

The husband has handled the ant problem. He sprayed, and poisoned, and put out death bait. I'm sure it helps that it got cold again, too. Knock on wood - there have been no ants in the house this week. This is extraordinarily exciting for me, and if it keeps up, I can stop obsessively searching the bed every night and my socks every morning. Last week, there was a day of winged ant infestation in my kitchen window. I made the husband handle it, which he did. Because it was so gross.

Then we discovered a problem of a different nature - we found out our property line is different than we thought it was. Our neighbors apparently put up a fence inside their property line. I am not sure why they would do this. There is no gate, or anything, just a fence, and then a strip of land a few feet across, and then our property apparently starts. We had just been assuming that the property line started at the fence - but instead it starts at this decades-old retaining wall, which clearly runs between two metal posts. The posts are actually mentioned in the deed. Obviously we failed to do our due-diligence here (not that it would have mattered to us at the time of purchase, but still a failure). It's a bit disappointing to find out that you don't own a strip of land, however small, that you thought was yours.

Ants are back

Unfortunately, it seems like winter has stopped pretending to exist and completely given up and it's intermittently floating up into the 70's every few days. So earlier this week I went to put the recycling out on the curb and.... THERE WAS AN ANT. He was sitting in the recycling. He was pretty sluggish - probably just woke up and came out of the ground and was enjoying his first good meal for months.

Then it kind of got cold again and ... I mean... he was outside, so... not so awful yet, right? But... today... I found two dead ants in my living room. THEY ARE BACK. I begged the husband to put out bait, but he said we should avoid attracting them unnecessarily. Maybe I can convince him to spray the foundation this weekend at least.

I will now spend the weekend feverishly cleaning my house so as to not attract them.

Also... I have no idea how they wound up dead on the floor??

Mousecapades

Some mice decided to come in out of the cold and live in our upstairs. (Our upstairs is a quasi-attic. We have a cape, so the upstairs was once and will again be living space, but right now we just threw down some insulation on the floor and have a few items stored up there... so it's acting as an attic.)

Every night, we heard the scrambling and running of little feet... and gnawing? So it was time for action.

The husband has had most of the fun with the mousecapades. He bought traps and bait, and set them. The first night, he was obsessed with them. (Traps!) Every time he heard a noise, he ran upstairs to see if he'd caught anything.

About 2am, he did. Now, he bought two of those traps that hide the dead carcass so you don't have to witness what you've done. But the husband wanted to see... and when he did, he squealed. In case you are faint of heart, I will not relay what he saw. Since this time, he has been much less enthused about the process.

Two nights ago, trap number two went off. These suckers pack quite a punch - apparently it flew several feet across the room. From downstairs, we heard a random "pop!" ... husband waited until the next day to actually go retrieve the trap.

I might feel a little sorry for the critters... but at some point in the last week, they got into my diaper bag, which I store in the stairwell to the upstairs. And they nibbled everything in the bag - a juice box, a book, diapers... and a brand new footie outfit for the small child. So they are now my archenemy. And they must die.

Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt is at once a terrible and fantastic thing. And it's increasingly been my leading motivator.

Mommy Guilt first started to really kick my butt into gear last fall, when it compelled me to create the Most Fantastic Birthday for my daughter. She was turning 3 - and reaching an age where I actually have childhood memories from. This is a terrifying thought - I cannot let her have sub-par memories. She must remember childhood as a wonderful, fabulous time, full of love and awesome parenting. I let her pick a party theme, decorations, cake. I invited people over so she could feel surrounded by love. Afterwards, I debated with the Mommy Guilt over whether I should have done more. It was appeased by the fact that she had a good time.

This year, Mommy Guilt has started approaching whole new levels. Having gained success at compelling me to feel inadequate in my birthday-planning skills, it now guides me in simple daily activities. This post is prompted by the fact that I just went to the bathroom and used the ALMOST last piece of toilet paper. There's toilet paper under the sink, there's still about two pieces on the roll... but a GOOD mommy would make sure that there was a fresh roll standing in waiting, right there on the toilet. Do I want to be a good mommy or a lazy, good-for-nothing mommy who can't be bothered to get the fresh roll of toilet paper out from under the sink?

Now Mommy Guilt is questioning whether I should really have swapped out the roll so that the next person doesn't have to. Who am I kidding? The next person will probably be me. But regardless, Mommy Guilt is making the household run a bit more smoothly. And at the same time tormenting me with self-doubt!

Just Mishaps

It's been a few weeks with only minor mishaps. Let's hope that by saying that, I'm not jinxing myself. But here is the rundown:

Varmint

When we moved in, the sellers were kind enough to leave us their trash can. However, it was in sorry shape, and within two weeks it was clear we needed a new trash can to survive the abuse that trash day entails. (I think that garbage collectors own stock in trash cans.) So we purchased a new one, but the garbage collectors did not take the old trash can, so it's remained sitting around with a slit all the way up one side.

Last week we missed trash day. So when I found that our (new) can was full, I thought it would be a good idea to put the additional bags into the semi-functional (ok, barely-functional) old trash can. Things were fine for about 24 hours, and then a varmint attacked. He clearly realized that the poor old trash can was no match for him, and strew our gross, stinky garbage around the can while consuming his meal.

I made the husband address this mishap, despite his protests.

Markers

My son, who is 15 months and has decided he is a person now, discovered markers this week. He has begun to insist on eating while seated at the table and holding a fork. Last night he walked to the bathroom after dinner to wash his hands at the sink. He procures foodstuffs from the cabinets and helps himself to them. And then he decided to climb up to the breakfast bar where my daughter does her drawing, and start using her markers. On the bar.

Today, he found a pencil (the markers having been - cleverly - removed). This also was used to decorate the bar.

Then I had an epiphany! Color Wonder! Color Wonder markers (which are probably not legit markers, more like creepy watery chemicals in a tube) only write on Color Wonder paper.



So I addressed this mishap, and now my son has markers, which makes him happy, and they only color on Color Wonder paper, which makes me happy.

Flu

In the 10 days, my son got sick, the husband and I got a cold, then the husband got a flu, which then gave way to a cold. So today is really the first day I've had a functioning adult around the house in a week or so. I am aware that many people never get another functioning adult around the house, but since I'm usually graced with the presence of one, the lack was very noticeable. Also, the presence of the non-functioning adult was like having a third, whiny child around.

It was great to have the functioning adult back today, to take care of the mess the varmint left.

Wild Cherry or Devil Red?

Today, I got another call from daycare immediately after arriving at work. They wanted me to pick up my daughter because they decided to get their medical degree and determine that her circular rash was caused by her head lice having fallen into her clothes and mutated into body lice. They googled some photos for proof.

There are several issues with this.
1) head lice don't fall
2) head lice and body lice are completely different insects
3) head lice live on the head and body lice live on the body (and clothing)
3) THEY ARE NOT DOCTORS

Regardless, they bagged up my daughter's things and banned her from circle time and told the other kids not to play with her. (!!! - this is absolutely unacceptable, but it's not the point of THIS post) So I picked her up and brought her to the doctor at 11:50 instead of 5:30. From across the room, the doctor looks at my daughter's rash and says, "ah, Lyme disease."

A bit anxious due to the paranoia and google "proof", I actually sort of questioned her a bit. Could this possibly be body lice? She gave me a strange look (what are you smoking?), and explained how textbook the rash was for Lyme disease. So off we go for blood work, and medicine, and now the poor girl gets to take medicine three times a day for three weeks.

Back home, we have some lunch. I then go downstairs to clear out the delay on the washing cycle and have it start immediately instead. It's a fabulous feature of my magnificent, wild cherry colored front-loading steam washer - a delay option so the clothes can be ready when you arrive home from work. And that's when it hits me. I've done this before. Just last Tuesday, when daycare called me to pick up my daughter because of the lice. I'd set the washer to delay... and wound up coming home early and cancelling it.

You can only draw one conclusion from this "coincidence" - my washer is an agent of the Devil.